How valuing connection gives you a more purposeful and fulfilled life
There may have come a time for you as it did for me, when you asked “what does it mean to be connected?” We connect our devices to the internet and the internet connects us to those all around the world. But what does that mean for us personally to be connected to our world and what is the impact of that?
For me the understanding of connection is the basis of spirituality. I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. To be connected to that which lies outside of me (my body) means that there is a recognition that everything is made up of the same substance and that there is no cause without an effect (you can liken this to how the moon affects the ocean). We watch a beautiful sunset or look out onto a majestical mountain view and something in us spurs, it’s this feeling of awe & greatness. For me I also get this great sense of feeling peace/calm/limitlessness, that anything is possible. I believe it’s because that which I see and that which I am are the same. And I feel that this is true for us all.
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives
- Brene Brown
In my understanding of this connectedness and my intention to exist in love, there is a certain way that I operate in the world. Because I could believe we are all connected but allow myself to exist in fear and the way that I operate in the world would be in a way that limits the existence of others to my own benefit. Instead, my sense of connection to the world, people and experiences around me fuels me to be empathic, compassionate, and strive to be the best version of myself. This is a prime example of how knowledge without intentional application will not create change. We need knowledge to be coupled with intention.
What does it feel like to be connected:
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” - Brené Brown
I love this definition of what connection feels like because that is exactly it! When we learn and believe that we are connected to everything, we are then able to see, sense and value things/other beings as they are without judgement and derive sustenance from the relationship. This is powerful because our values inspire purpose but without connection to that outside of ourselves our values (can) lack meaning. Connection and purpose go hand in hand.
Connection is as important to being human as any other human need. It fosters our communities, relationships, even our health. “Research shows us that loneliness is on the rise, and that a lack of human connection can be more harmful to your health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure.” [1]
https://cmha.ca/blogs/the-importance-of-human-connection
Having defined connection: what it is, what it feels like, and why it’s so important for us. Let us tap into different forms of connection and how we can foster more of that in our lives.
The value of social connection:
“Often, our social connections fall by the wayside. But connecting with others is more important than you might think. Social connection can lower anxiety and depression, help us regulate our emotions, lead to higher self-esteem and empathy, and actually improve our immune systems. By neglecting our need to connect, we put our health at risk.” (Source: cmha) Having previously touched on this point of how connection and health are linked, I feel it is very important for us to greatly consider how we show up in our social circles. Oftentimes, our commitments to how we show up in our relationships is reflected in the depths and strengths of the connections that we have with others. I am not sure who needs to hear this but, it is okay for you to want and find meaningful connections. We need them.
If you find that you lack meaningful social connections in your life then it would benefit you to step back and do some introspective work. The following questions can help start that process for you:
Are you the problem? Do you find that the majority of your social relationships lack a place where you really know each other, lack value for one another and/or lack sustenance & strength from each other? If so, maybe you lack the skills that are necessary for choosing people to be a part of your life.
Are there current relationships that you have now that you would like to add depth to? Is there anyone in your life now that you feel a resonance to that would match a greater level of connection you are looking for?
Are there current relationships that you have now that need space? Sometimes space is needed from poor connections in order for you to be able to put more energy and time into the stronger connections that are going to carry longevity. Sometimes there are relationships that need to be let go of completely because you have reached different points of your journey and you are not getting the sustenance you need from the relationship.
If you are looking for new people or ways to connect with others try to find groups/individuals that share the same interest and/or same values as you do. Or revisit relationships that may have been passing before but you think “you know something feels right here this time”.
Here are some ideas to help you out:
Join a new club, or try out a group activity
Reach out to an old friend you’ve lost touch with
Volunteer for a cause you care about
Eat lunch in a communal space
Introduce yourself to your neighbours
Ask someone for help when you need it
Do a random act of kindness
According to Psychology Today social connection improves health, strengthens immunity, helps you recover from injury or illness faster, and even increases longevity. Studies show that social connection should be as much of your overall wellness routine as eating fruits and vegetables and getting exercise.(source: Lauren Eckstrom) just in case you needed a bit more convincing on the importance of connection in your life. It’s basically its own type of essential food group.
Fine art photo from the Reverent Series
The value of connection to self
The same definition of connection also applies to self connection: “the energy that exists when people feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” [1] The most important relationship is the one that we have with ourselves and it is the one that influences all the others. Because all of our relationships have ourselves as the common denominator, it is critical that our value of connection is reflected in the relationship with ourselves.
I believe that in order for us to have a full connection with ourselves we have to consider the mind, body and spirit. We can not neglect a part of the whole without it having an effect on the whole. Coupled with that understanding, it benefits us to have practices that we resonate with and use regularly (at a frequency that makes sense to us) in order to feed that connection that we have to ourselves.
Practices that help the connection of our -
Body: Practices that help keep maintain the cleanliness and function of your body
Hygienic practices (brushing your teeth, washing your face, showering, etc.)
Exercising (moving your body regularly)
Eating healthy (foods that work for your body. Just because a food and diet work for someone else, does not mean that it is right for you. Listen and trust your body.)
Staying properly hydrated
Mind: Practices that help keep the sharpness of your mind also maintain the function of your mind.
Reading
Doing puzzles
Playing word games
Spirit: Practices that help you to feel grounded, centered and at peace, is how you feed your spirit.
Meditating
Grounding
Journaling
Practicing a form of self expression (Dancing/writing/drawing/painting/singing/etc.)
Being in nature
These are just examples and practices are important because they are reflective of the value you have for yourself. Again, find and do the practices that resonate with you.
If you find that you are feeling unsure, uneasy, or restless these could be signs that you need to direct your focus towards yourself and prioritize self practices.
I hope in sharing my views and beliefs on connection: what it is, why it is important, and ways to help foster it, that it benefits you in some way. Whether it helps you think of connection in a new or different way, allows you to prioritize some practices or just makes you step back to consider how connection plays a role in your life, I am happy you read this.
Until next time then✨
Love,
Chloé