Why Authenticity is Vitally Important to Living a Fulfilled Life
I believe one of the most important ways to live is authentically. Authenticity is full alignment where what you: say, feel, think, believe and live are congruent.
When you live authentically you are listening to the voice of your spirit and heart which guides you to make the best decision for you. When differentiating between whether your spirit/heart vs your ego is speaking, remember that: “can’t” , “should/shouldn’t”, “have to” are the limiting voice of your ego. The ability to decipher between those two voices are key to learning what your truths are. Being authentic is about being real to what truths live at your core and knowing there is no value attached. What you believe and what another person believes does not make either of you better or worse, it's just your own personal truths. And when you honor yourself in this way you create space to honor other people being their authentic selves.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
- Carl Jung
Each one of us is shining a light on a variety of truths. That light being revealed through the way you choose to live. The path you reveal to others by shining your light is dependent on the foundation to which those actions are connected to. Therefore, it’s important to examine your why’s and what beliefs they are attached to. This way you take ownership over the energy that you emit into the world. Responsibility is when you take accountability for how you show up and what you are putting out into the world. I believe that this coupled awareness is a sign of living in a state of higher consciousness which allows us to experience fulfillment in life.
Having touched on how our why’s and beliefs are connected to our actions and the importance of that awareness let’s discuss self introspection. Authenticity requires self introspection, to live who you truly are you have to know who you truly are. The underlying factor of who you truly are starts in what beliefs you hold. This self introspection is required for us to sift through the many beliefs we tend to adhere to that are given to us through our families and societies as we grow up. The journey to understanding what’s authentic to you becomes the examination of which beliefs are yours and which do you have in practice because you grew up with them.
What happens when you are not being authentic?
When we are not being authentic we carry around the baggage of false beliefs. This causes us to act in ways that don’t feel right to us but we do it because it’s what we have learnt we should be doing. This can be seen in your way of living to please others: parents, family, co-workers, neighbors, communities that you are a part of, and/or people you don't even know. This inauthentic way of existing also reveals itself through us keeping things to ourselves, withdrawing, manipulating with words/actions, or even trying to change those around us into the person you want them to be.
Choosing to live beliefs that aren’t truly yours creates a lack of connection to other people. Conscious or unconsciously you know that the you they like is not the real you. This causes you to miss out on the beautiful opportunity to connect with those who would see the real you and be a match to your truth. It’s really a loss of intimacy to choose not to be true to who you are. Also, if you are not showing up authentically you most likely aren't getting your needs met because they aren’t being known.
As you move through this stage of self-discovery there are multiple signs that you can look for to navigate if you are living or making a choice that is inauthentic for you.
‘‘All I want of you men and women is that you shall achieve your own beauty as the flowers do.’’
— D.H. Lawrence
Signs of in authenticity:
Something doesn't feel right
You just get this feeling deep within you or a sense of knowing that something feels off. Learn to trust that this is your inner guidance directing you.
Shrinking your personality
You find yourself downsizing who you are to make other people feel more comfortable
Hiding who you are
Not being open to what you are feeling especially in your core relationships (I’m not necessarily talking about the random stranger at your corner store), “sacrificing your needs, and saying yes when you rather not — all to be accepted by someone else”. (1)
Inauthenticity “warps our communication and damages our relationships so that we control, patronize, criticize, blame, deny, withdraw, attack, and make empty promises to keep a relationship and reassure ourselves we’re okay even when we don’t believe it.” (1)
With any journey that we are on the expectation of challenges is almost a sure thing. And it’s the same with living authentically. A major challenge is detecting the thought streams of belief systems that are not yours. I like to think of the mind as an ocean. An ocean which ecosystem is made up of every experience you have ever had. The various elements of that ecosystem over time will replenish/multiply or decrease/decay. Though you may not have complete control over all the elements of the ecosystem that are present. You do have control over which elements are replenished and multiplied. You do this by feeding those beliefs through energy (what you think about, daily practices and actions). Then over time when you look out into your ocean you will see and experience predominantly beautiful things because that’s what’s flourishing in that environment.
The other challenge of living authentic is that there is a risk of being criticized, rejected, and/or feeling exposed. But the truth is, those are factors that you already are subject to. So you might as well live your truth.
Finally, let's touch on what is required to live a life that is in alignment to who you are.
Awareness
An awareness of the ever changing landscape of life. Knowing that nothing is constant helps you internalize that you may not know everything that is going to happen next but you are ready and willing to show up fully no matter what happens. And as a human dedicated to your personal growth, which is part of living authentically, you are open to the changes associated with discovering more of yourself.
Surrender
This works hand in hand with awareness. Once you are aware of life being ever changing, the next step is to give yourself permission to surrender. It’s a surrender to the process of evolving, changing & accepting. Through that surrender, you can make a commitment of allowing the changes you experience in life to show you how to continue to live authentically.
Being vulnerable and honest
Honesty to yourself about your beliefs, truths and needs is vital. That self honesty is then able to be followed through with living honestly with those in your world, remembering It’s how others get to know you. Vulnerability is also required, especially in forming deeper relationships. It’s a layered truth in a way, where you not only reveal your truth but also the truths of your inner world that support that first truth. For example, you tell someone “I’m tired”. That is an honest statement. To tell someone, “I’m tired because I have been stressed at work and feel overwhelmed”, is a deeper truth. I supposed you can say it’s the why under the truth.
Courage
It takes courage to live your beliefs and risk being fully seen. But knowing it’s worth it and what you risk in not doing so can fuel your commitment to live a life that is truthful to you.
When you decide to live whole and in alignment you open yourself and your world to forming deeper connections through being honest and vulnerable. The right decisions for you become more clear when you know what beliefs are true for you and then you have a guide to make the right choices.
“Each time I go deeper within myself, learn a new skill, release myself from the bondage of an old message, I evolve again and a new side to my authentic self is revealed. Living authentically is not stagnant: it is constantly shifting and taking on new forms. If we truly believe in living an authentic life, then we must continually be learning about ourselves, challenging old beliefs, sorting through our baggage. It is about learning to face fears and doubts, to be able to reach deeply within ourselves to find out what makes our heart sing, our spirit soar. It is finding where our authentic self feels the most alive, free and unburdened — and then having the courage to live from this place.” (2)
Please share with me below your thoughts and feelings on what it means to you to live authentically and what the importance of that is to you <3
With love,
Chloe’